Where did my fire go?
When did I lose that quality that drew every eye?
What happened to make me dull,
a hollow shell of myself?
I don’t feel the fire anymore
I don’t feel the heat
I keep reaching for it
searching for it where it used to be.
But it’s gone
doused or stolen or just lost
I don’t have the faintest idea how to rekindle that flame
I keep hoping it will just appear
renewed and revived
burning brighter and stronger and more powerful than ever before.
It won’t.
Not on its own at least.
Not without a lot of searching
not without finding the passion that fuels my fire.
I have passion in spades, but not when it comes to myself.
When I look at myself I see the scared and angry girl
sitting in a hallway
with friends all around her
trying to tell her that the love of her young life is gone
forever.
When I look at myself I see a woman
who married a man
without knowing who he was marrying.
I have been called many things
a force of nature
an amazing woman
a creative being.
I want to be all those things
and I want to share them with you.
I don’t want to be alone in the journey of my life.