I don’t want this hell
but maybe I need it.
I don’t want to sit and think of the might’ve been’s
of the what-if’s
but maybe, just maybe, it will turn this mind-numbing fog
I don’t love feeling alone
but maybe it’s time I learn to be that way
to rely first on myself before I lean on someone else.
I have my words
I have my teddy bear
I have my tears
I have my unshakable faith that the Universe is there
waiting for me to open my tear-filled eyes
and take my first steps
against which puffs of white stand stark
reminders of a past lost to me
a flash of brilliant scarlet darts past
a sudden cry threatens to draw a smile to my lips
shadows slowly lengthen
drawing a curtain over another day
one more day closer to life alone
Looking outside, at Mama Zen’s behest, and turning a sunny spring day into a daunting, scarey thing. Written for today’s Words Count prompt.
It is something I have been wondering
was I destined to be this woman
or is this simply the creature you made of the clay of my psyche?
Was this the truth of my soul
or was this woman molded of your desires
your hopes, your dreams?
So many voices
crawling into my brain and leaving little spores
to feed on whatever will give them life.
So many thoughts
tempting me to extremes of emotion
cajoling me to reach beyond the boundaries.
So many whispers
echoing in the darkness, in the stillness
repeating tossed away imaginings.
I ignore the voices
and refuse to feed their spores
I push away thoughts
which lead me to fear and anger
I deny the whispers
the chance to repeat their poison
I trust in my heart
to guide me to the right path
to reveal the truth even in the darkness.