“Force of Nature”

Where did my fire go?
When did I lose that quality that drew every eye?
What happened to make me dull,
a hollow shell of myself?

I don’t feel the fire anymore
I don’t feel the heat
I keep reaching for it
searching for it where it used to be.
But it’s gone
doused or stolen or just lost

I don’t have the faintest idea how to rekindle that flame
I keep hoping it will just appear
renewed and revived
burning brighter and stronger and more powerful than ever before.

It won’t.

Not on its own at least.
Not without a lot of searching
not without finding the passion that fuels my fire.

I have passion in spades, but not when it comes to myself.

When I look at myself I see the scared and angry girl
sitting in a hallway
with friends all around her
trying to tell her that the love of her young life is gone
forever.
When I look at myself I see a woman
who married a man
without knowing who he was marrying.

I have been called many things
a force of nature
an amazing woman
a creative being.
I want to be all those things
and I want to share them with you.

I don’t want to be alone in the journey of my life.

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5 thoughts on ““Force of Nature”

  1. ugh. i dont think any of us want to be alone on the journey…some are called to be…and they are stronger than i…losing one you love is so painful too and will resonate forward into our lives….def comes through with a lot of feeling…

  2. So touching and I can feel this too. I bravely go out there saying that I will forge ahead alone and the reality is parts of my heart just ache for someone else. I’m not really good at it though so I’m sticking to my story. Very thought provoking for me, thanks!

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