“Until”

I want to tell you so many things.

I want you to know how you’ve hurt me.
How I love you still.
I want to tell you that each and every tear burns my skin
as if it were your touch.
I want to say that I understand
but I don’t.

I want to voice my heart’s cry
the pain that grips me as tightly as I want to cling to you.
I want you to hear
every sob, every wail
and know they are for you.
I want you to understand
though they are signs of my weakness
they are all I have.

I want to say I love you
each and every day we are apart.
I want you to feel loved
and desired and needed
but most of all I want you to feel strong.
No matter how hard I try, how badly I desire it
I can’t be your strength.
I have to let you find it in yourself.
No matter how bad it hurts, how deep it cuts.

I want you to know
that I love you.
I will continue to burn for you
to cry for you
to long to hold your hand and hear your voice.
Until you find yourself
or until you bring me the pieces
I have sworn to keep safe
I will continue
to reflect the glow of your love, my sun.

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